I used to be a huge fan of Gwyneth Paltrow. I thought she was the epitome of grace and class. She was the "Audrey Hepburn" of my teens. Now, however, there is no one in Hollywood who comes across as more holier-than-thou, irritating and snobbishly grating.
I've been receiving her email newsletter - GOOP (I still don't know where the name comes from) and it's full of reasons why she's better than you and ways that we can live as green and purely as she.
She calls Billy Joel, William. Yeah.
She posts videos of her "fast food" - cooking a whole organic chicken and describes it as 'beauteous' and 'gorge'.
She's becoming as sinewy and veiny as the Queen of the Bicep.
She pretends she was born and raised in upper-crust England, when really she's a SoCal brat, brought up by actors.
Naming your baby Apple no longer seems quirky, yet acceptable.
G.P. I'm over you.