Sunday, March 24, 2013

Bored of the Ring

The first Saturday of spring, and a sunny one at that.  How should it be spent?  Hiking, clearing out winter debris from the yard, strolling in the park?  Sure, or you could do what six of my friends and I did and spend it indoors taking in an all-day Lord of the Rings marathon.  Believe me, this was not my first choice, however, I have bossed them around for years, so it's my turn to be agreeable.

Everyone else was pretty keen and also shocked that I have only seen one of the three movies.  So, we descended on our friend Kit's awesome home (with insanely tall doors!) and turned the living room into couch city with air mattresses, pillows , Snuggies and blankets.  No one seemed to get when I kept yelling, "The floor is lava!" which was a frequent phrase from childhood fort days.  Does anyone else get it?

We started around 10am and didn't leave until after midnight, bleary-eyed and exhausted.  If I saw one more battle scene, I would have lost it.  These movies just aren't my cup of tea, but the good news is that I get to pick the next movie marathon day.  First off, it won't be for several years, but I'm thinking Ocean's 11, 12 and 13?  What else has three movies that I would want to subject them to?  And don't say Back to the Future or anything with the word "Star" in the title.

We did take several breaks during disc changes for awesome food, including a thematic stew, a walk to the end of the block, and a random pellet gun activity.  We were trying to hit the cherry tomato on this gnome's head.  We failed.

Of course it was a great day to just hang out with my friends and for me, it's the true test of friendship - if the day can be filled with orcs, elves, wizards and this annoying stare:

...and I still have a good time, that means I have great friends.  Plus it was great to see this handsome fella again.  Every time I see him I'm wearing a Snuggie...

Pong Party

The last couple years my friends and I have spent the month of March doing new things we've never done before.  Our activities have included rock climbing, go-karts, segway tours, and trampolining.  This March, we got a bit of a slow start but last weekend we tried ping pong at Spin in Toronto.  It's basically a bar/club with ping pong tables - a creation of Susan Sarandon.

It was pretty fun, but I found we only needed the hour we booked.  No one is very good and it's so chaotic that we were just trying to hit the ball, rather than play a game properly.  The beauty of it is that you get a bucket of balls to just go to town with and there is a "ball boy" who goes around and picks up the errant balls.  I haven't played since high school in a friend's basement - where all ping pong tables live - and it was a fun little activity.


48 Hours in PEI

Have you ever been to PEI?  I've now been there three times, twice in the past year.  It's a very small place, in both size and influence, but what it lacks in excitement, it makes up for in hospitality. The people there are some of the most friendly and welcoming I've ever encountered.

I was there last week for a work site visit for an upcoming conference and in my hotel suite, I was greeted with candy and lemonade, after a random comment weeks before revealed I enjoy these treats. 

I was wined and dined and even welcomed into my host's home while I awaited my flight.  This flight, by the way, in boarded by actually walking down the runway to the plane.  It's almost like visiting a small Caribbean country.  Almost.

I was also gifted with the obligatory Anne of Green Gables hat and made to pose all around the airport:

The bangs stuck straight out.  The hat is now here at home and I don't know what to do with it.  Although, it's better than the other hat I wore during the visit:

I was also lucky enough to see the most ridiculous jacuzzi tub in one of the finer hotel suites.  Seriously, PEI, you're so cute.


Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Ad Absurdum

You probably can't get a true sense of this First Ontario ad, and how ridiculous this man looks, but it cracks me up.  His stance is so random.  He's a doctor in Hamilton, I think a chiropractor, and whoever decided on this look for the ad is off the wall.  It's very strange.  Although, I guess some would say it's a successful ad since I'm talking about it and keep mentioning it to people.  Hmm.

Sunday, March 17, 2013

The Melissa Manifesto Vol. II

The Melissa Manifesto - The 30 Decade

Vol. II

- That people should see guests out and not close the door until they're out of sight.

- "I would love to come" are five of the best words.

- In having music playing when people are coming over.

- In handwritten cards.

- In nights/events where the entire world is doing/watching the same thing (New Years Eve or Olympics).

- That eating at the bar is usually better than eating at a table.

- In Joshua Jackson.

- In two armed hugs.

- In walking a little further for free parking.

- In second dates being one of the best social interactions of all time.

Plenty of Bleak

It seems like it has been a long time since I have blogged (read: complained) about the online dating scene. Well, today after being inundated by more stupidity than I can handle, it is time.

Here is a snapshot of what sort of messages you can expect as a single woman on an online dating site (verbatim from my Inbox):

- "Sure, you can bowl, but have you ever done MSN Live Bowling – that is the question."

- "wanking about on some dodgy foreign web site. wouldn't you like to know mate . well surf away , surf surf , and bloody surf & Travel, travel heaps of fun, been to too many bloody places, love the planet. Not to mention a schooner of carlton draught and fair go mate. .Aussie Aussie Aussie OI OI OI , Thank god for the best place on earth. Fairdinkum"
- "hey there, you look familiar, were you ever in a porno?"

Reading their profiles also reveals lots of gems that make me consider joining the nunnery.
- "I'm a real laddies man"  So, I'm presuming this is a gay man or a bad speller.  Neither is what I'm looking for.
- "$$$$$$$$$"  That was his entire profile.
- "Life is for living." Commence eye roll.
- "I won't bite...unless you want me to." Continue eye roll.
And I don't mean to be judgemental (ha), but I'm also not interested in dating the following:
- grandfathers
- men who post pictures of themselves with their multiple rabbits
- men who have dressed up as Spock for three Hallowe'ens in a row
- men who list "walking" as an interest - really?
- any of these guys:

I'm sorry, but are they living in some sort of alternative universe where we would be a match?

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Ryan Costanza

The other night I was looking at pictures and came across this one, which I'd seen a dozen times before.  But I now realized how hilarious it is.  This is our group in the Dominican Republic for Ryan and Julie's joint Bachelor/ette trip.  The group is all happy and smiley:

Then you notice the creeper in the background. The creeper is Ryan.
I can't stop laughing at this.  He looks all suspicious and weird-o so far away from us, watching us get our picture taken together.  It reminded me of that hilarious Seinfeld episode (nearly everything can be linked back to a Seinfeld episode) where George gets caught in a family beach photo for a potential boss and tries to get himself Photoshopped out.

I'm dying over here.

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Final Products

The latest in my quest to fill the winter months with new and fresh activities took me to a pottery class at the Dundas Valley School of Art.  It was a McMaster Alumni event and I took my fellow Marauder friend, Elo. 

We tried hand sculpting, the wheel, glazing and firing our creations.  This is what my hand pottery ended up looking like after being fired in a 'more-dangerous-than-you-might-think situation:

It's a bit wobbly and will certainly make a nice pencil cup or something.  I'm still waiting on my other pottery item, but I'll save you the suspense and tell you that it's a ... bowl.

While waiting for the glaze process, we were encouraged to just let the clay speak to us and create whatever we wanted, but there was a definite emphasis on spirit animals.  Cue eye roll.

I started making a turtle, then a snail (what do these slow animals say about my spirit??) but then gave in an made a cornucopia.  The instructor wasn't impressed.  But then I also made an abstract blob. Still not impressed.

An exercise in trust and humanity

Step One:
Answer email of interested party with regard to item for sale through Kijiji.

Step Two:
Tell buyer that you will put the sale item in the milkbox and they can come by at their leisure to pick it up and leave the money in its place.

Step Three:
Open said milkbox with trepidation and find money there, with a "Thank You" note to boot! 

Step Four:
Faith in the goodness of humanity firmly in place.


I have recently started subscribing to the Hamilton Spectator and while I'm enjoying the local perspective and becoming well-versed in our city's issues, I have had it up to *here* with the delivery system.  They know me by my voice at the complaint department since I call every other day complaining about the absence or incorrect location of my paper.  I've definitely turned into that crazy old lady who chases hooligans away with a broom in the neighbourhood.  In a house dress.

This story caught my eye this week and made me say, "Really, Spec?  Perhaps blank space is sometimes a better idea."  How is this news?  Sigh.

Dear Diary

I used to write a daily journal.  Almost every day from the age of 17 to 26.  I have dozens of lined journals filled with my thoughts and activities for almost a decade - and a very exciting and interesting decade at that.  I've been rereading them lately and it's like reading a YA novel.  Well, a sloppy and poorly written one.  But one with rich characters, the best and the worst of times and events that are still so vivid in my mind.  By rereading these entries, I am able to almost relive it.  The details provided allow me to be right back there again. 

I've always been worried about forgetting.  Forgetting good things that happened, having people forget me, having friendships disappear, forgetting how something or someone made me feel.  I'm not sure why, but it's been comforting to know that any time I want to remember I can just open up a journal.

There are many ridiculous stories that make me cringe at my naivety and inexperience and howl with laughter at my grandiose thoughts and inner most secrets.  I'm certainly a different person than I was at 19.

But at the same time, I am exactly the same person I was back then.  It's been very easy to see patterns of behaviour, ways of dealing with stress, and identical situations and characteristics that I still have today.

This particular passage may explain why I didn't make the Dean's List in university and why I'm such a word nerd:

"I'm in class but I was reluctant to come to it because I had a 74,000 score on Text Twist...which is really good."

Inspired by the joy I experience by having these old journals at my disposal, I have decided to start writing on a daily basis again.  I have been writing frequently over the last several years, but usually only about certain topics on my mind or when I need to unload.  Writing about my daily activities, people and my feelings about them both will allow me to capture how my life is at this stage.  It's too bad that I haven't been writing diligently for the past five years, because I'm pretty sure they might be some of the most interesting, exciting and outrageous years of my life.  I became single after a long-term relationship and entered the murky waters of dating, buying a home and really creating my life for myself.  It's been an absolute thrill and I wish I had recorded it.  In any event, I expect that these years I'm living now will prove to be just as exciting and I know I'll enjoy reading them in the future.