Sunday, February 28, 2010


If there was ever any doubt that my friend Susan is in fact Avril Lavigne, here is the incredible proof.

Avril Lavigne's high school pic:

And here is Susan's high school pic:

It's too crazy. Oh! And also weird, Susan was born in April. And how do you say April in French? Avril!


This picture came out last night's hilarious laugh-fest...
...and it reminded me of another creepy picture of Paul from years ago, trying to go unnoticed while the girls were changing.

I can't stop laughing at them.

Paying it forward...pays off

I went to Ikea today to use up the $20 coupon I had from buying our Christmas tree. Today was the last day to use it and I figured I could pick up some house stuff. There was nothing there for me! I was annoyed.

So, I was leaving and decided to give the coupon to someone else - just to be nice. Yes, I can be nice. I scanned the line-ups and picked a couple that looked like me or someone I might be friends with. After giving them the coupon, they were pleased but a bit confused. I walked away and got that good feeling that comes along with a randon act of kindness. It's so weird how it works every time.

I then went to get a frozen yogurt from the Ikea snack stand and considered adding 2 hotdogs for fifty cents - always a good idea. As I was paying, the guy I gave the coupon to came up and offered to pay for my cone. He put a $5 bill on the counter as I protested. He insisted, smiled and walked away, thanking me. He was also extremely cute...too bad about the girlfriend who wore a lot of make-up.

It was so nice to get a thank you that was completely unexpected! In the end, my minor nicety resulted in me profiting $3.95.


Thursday, February 25, 2010

I am STILL painting.

Tonight SpongeBob Squarepants meets his timely death.

Removing him from my walk-in closet/spare room took longer than expected and I hated every minute of it.

Other high (low) lights of tonight:
- I painted over 2 spiders. Can't get out my way fast enough? Not my problem.
- I got paint in my eyebrows.
- I keep forgetting that I shouldn't brace myself on the freshly painted walls.
- Doritos for dinner.
I plod on....
Must finish ALL painting by Sunday night. Must. Will.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010


Pink lemonade really makes me so, so happy. I spent an hour shovelling and was pretty miserable, but I came in and had some pink lemonade. Instant happiness. I'm smiling about it right now. In fact, I'm going to get some.
I don't have cable. Therefore, I cannot watch any of the Olympics. What the F!? Right now, I actually care if Canada is beating Germany, but I have no idea what's going on. Did we win? It seems very un-Canadian to not allow all citizens to watch the Olympics.
I fell today. I was on a Kijiji pick up and while the people were carrying my new/old dresser down a treacherous flight of stairs, I was carrying the accompanying mirror to my car, on even, albeit icy, ground and I slipped and full-on went down on my hip. I really wanted to cry. They came running and helped me up, probably worried I would sue them. Instead, I brushed myself off and got them to knock $5 off the price. And cried in the car.
I have been having an exorbitant amount of Tim Horton's donuts lately. I'm talking at least 5 to 6 times a week. We work near one and while we usually are Starbucks snobs, we have been doing coffee runs all the time recently. And donuts are our way to show our Canadian pride. I feel sick.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Colouring My World

Two weekend days, 21 cumulative hours spent taping, priming and painting.

I turned down several very kind offers to assist me in my massive project, for two reasons:

1) It is my belief that people don't actually want to do it, they're just being good friends, which I appreciate, but I don't want to make people do things they won't enjoy... if I can help it.

2) If I get their help, that means I will one day have to help them and I NEVER want to do this again! Ever.

I had no idea what I was doing and I wasn't very good at it. I was armed with a Benjamin Moore instructional pamphlet, Doritos and the Glee soundtrack (played ad nauseum). My goal was to paint my entire house in one weekend. Solo.

Two hours were spent staring at the paint chips at Canadian Tire and it turns out that I ended up picking colours very similar to the existing colours. Of course, nothing turned out the way I had hoped in my head, but there was no way I was going back to sift through more colours.

This is the old colour (bottom) and the almost identical new colour (top). Sigh.

The one good thing about spilling half a bag of Doritos on the floor: it's a work site, so just suck them up with the ShopVac. A few days later.

This was supposed to be more grey, but I think it will still look pretty slumber-y.

This was supposed to be serene and spa, but turned out to be like mint chocolate chip ice cream slap in the face. Aaah.

I'm not even close to finished, even when I got lazy and cut out the primer step on some walls. I still have the entire second floor to start.


Sunday, February 21, 2010

Attn: Housewarming Party Guests...

Which one of you clowns turned my stove clock forward an hour? It's been throwing me off all weekend.

I have a guess who it was...and now I've got the time for payback.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Here we go!!!

Now that the housewarming party has come and gone, the real work begins. After the hangover subsided, I did the following things:
- took stock of all the boozey gifts I acquired - gotta love that!
- accepted the fact that I was responsible for breaking two glasses at the party
- booked a massage to remedy the back pain caused by crashing on the bare living room floor with my friends, a la adult daycare
- ripped up the soiled, wretched carpet in the basement
- had minor hissy fit while getting underpad debris in my eye
- ate dried out olives
- stopped to realize how much work is ahead of me


Tonight I went to Home Depot, a place I expect to spend a lot of time at in coming weeks, and I had no idea how much stuff costs!! I hate to sound like the sheltered princess, but I'm really naive about all this. A gallon of primer = $30! I dropped $500 on ceramic tiles and then I had to carry them all on my own! Well, Dad helped, but shouldn't the Home Depot people do that?

Hardwood floors get refinished tomorrow and I'm going to buy a dining table from a potentially sketchy Kijiji - with the last name Tomato. Yep, full steam ahead!!

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Highlights of Cleaning: Day 4

-sucked up a mouse, or some other really furry creature in the vacuum
-found blood on a bedroom wall, or what appears to be blood, or dark ketchup
-considered crying

I'm sorry, WHAT?

What is wrong with people!?!?!

I've been doing the Kijiji and Craigslist thing recently - wanting to get some deals for new (old) furniture and so far I've been pretty lucky. No crazies, only really nice, polite people, and nothing sketchy.

Although there was that one dining set picture that had a shirtless beer bellied guy holding up the chair. That was less than appealing.

Because I'm so ... thrifty, I tend to lowball and think it a failure to pay the asking price. And I see nothing to lose in just asking to take less - besides, it's usually all over email. Who cares?

Today I encountered my first crazy person on Kijiji. Here is how the email back and forth went:

Winnie Cooper: Hello, Is this cabinet still available? Are you flexible on price? Thank you.

**see? very nice, polite...**

Crazy Kijiji: call #

**Uh, no I don't want to - email is always better. And what? Is he going to try and sales pitch me? Which of my questions required phone talks -none! So, he's annoying and a little sketchy. He could have just emailed me the answers in fewer words than his stupid "call #". So I don't call. I'm busy.**

Before I email back or do anything, about 1 hour, I get this:

Crazy Kijiji: don't bother, I can see your just a time waster, will sell to someone else

**!!!!!!!!!!!! What? Is he serious? I don't call him right away and I get this? WHO is this? Seriously - certifiable. Plus, poor grammar.**

I then get my back up and in full finger snap wagging style, write a rebuttal and then tone it down to this: (I almost considered calling him so he would get the full intonation of the message)

Winnie Cooper: Excuse me? It sounds like you're the one wasting time by not emailing answers - instead waiting for me to call. Has it occured to you that I'm not in a position to call right now? Who do you think you are?!?

Then this:

Crazy Kijiji: don't bother us, find someone else, to bring an antique piece to your door, FREE of charge

**I started replying then thought my time was better spent bitching to my blog readers about this guy. Seriously, I'm baffled. Who is this guy? It's a shame because I really adored the cabinet.**

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Winnie Buble

I think I'm at the point where I can freely admit this:

From first hearing his new song, "Just Haven't Met You Yet", up until I found out he is marrying the Brazilian model in his video, I was pretty confident that I was going to marry Michael Buble. It's true, he just hadn't met me yet. Insane, but part of me truly thought it would happen - not because he's some hot celebrity body (which he isn't really), but because a small part of me actually thought it was a possibility and that it isn't a crazy idea that we would be well-suited.


I'm seeking therapy.


Homeownership Day One = Hell.

I have learned a lesson. When viewing a potential property, stop looking at the room sizes, floors, wiring, plumbing - look at the dirt that I will have to clean!

Yesterday I spent the entire beautiful day cleaning. But not really cleaning, more like disaster restoration. The scum, grime and filth was caked on every single surface. Every surface! I'm talking walls, ceilings, handles, taps, tiles - even the dead mouse in the basement was filthy.

Armed with four hours of SB's help, tacos, Timbits, two pairs of rubber gloves and gumption, I did my very best. Here is how it broke down:

- crying fits = 1
- gagging and dry heaving fits = 8
- mutilated sponges = 6
- ripped rubber gloves = 2
- Timbits consumed = 22
- times SB exclaimed "It smells like a wet dog wearing a dirty diaper who fell in mud!" = 3
- bottles of Scrubbing Bubbles = 4
- sprained wrists = 1

I kept wondering who could live like this? But I figured it out, the previous tenants must have been a pack of wild bears. I think they used the walls as scratching posts.

They must have rented out the walls to woodpeckers, because I have never seen so many nail and screw holes in my entire life. I am not exaggerating when I say there were an average of 9 holes per wall. What were these bears hanging?

How much does a pair of maids cost? Which is more important: maids or mortgage? Serious consideration. Aargh.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010