I hate you Absolut Five. And here are the five reasons why:
1. You do not taste like Pear, Peach, Mandarin, Citron or Raspberry. You taste like tears, shame, nausea, fear and loathing.
2. You are way more than an actual shot. Drinking one of you is like guzzling water after finishing a half marathon....at least I imagine that's what happens, never having run a half marathon. Yet.
3. You make me feel like a giant with your tiny replica of a regular bottle. Actually, no, I kind of like that.
4. You make my eyes water.
5. You are the catalyst of my peer pressure. At 27, I still feel it whenever someone hands me one of you. I am devising a plan where I fill you with 7-Up and no one will know.
Now that we know of your plan, you will ALWAYS be given an unopened bottle of 'Fear & Loathing' flavoured Absolut, and supervised closely while you drink down your shame ;-)
ReplyDelete