Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Dear Diary

I used to write a daily journal.  Almost every day from the age of 17 to 26.  I have dozens of lined journals filled with my thoughts and activities for almost a decade - and a very exciting and interesting decade at that.  I've been rereading them lately and it's like reading a YA novel.  Well, a sloppy and poorly written one.  But one with rich characters, the best and the worst of times and events that are still so vivid in my mind.  By rereading these entries, I am able to almost relive it.  The details provided allow me to be right back there again. 

I've always been worried about forgetting.  Forgetting good things that happened, having people forget me, having friendships disappear, forgetting how something or someone made me feel.  I'm not sure why, but it's been comforting to know that any time I want to remember I can just open up a journal.

There are many ridiculous stories that make me cringe at my naivety and inexperience and howl with laughter at my grandiose thoughts and inner most secrets.  I'm certainly a different person than I was at 19.

But at the same time, I am exactly the same person I was back then.  It's been very easy to see patterns of behaviour, ways of dealing with stress, and identical situations and characteristics that I still have today.

This particular passage may explain why I didn't make the Dean's List in university and why I'm such a word nerd:

"I'm in class but I was reluctant to come to it because I had a 74,000 score on Text Twist...which is really good."

Inspired by the joy I experience by having these old journals at my disposal, I have decided to start writing on a daily basis again.  I have been writing frequently over the last several years, but usually only about certain topics on my mind or when I need to unload.  Writing about my daily activities, people and my feelings about them both will allow me to capture how my life is at this stage.  It's too bad that I haven't been writing diligently for the past five years, because I'm pretty sure they might be some of the most interesting, exciting and outrageous years of my life.  I became single after a long-term relationship and entered the murky waters of dating, buying a home and really creating my life for myself.  It's been an absolute thrill and I wish I had recorded it.  In any event, I expect that these years I'm living now will prove to be just as exciting and I know I'll enjoy reading them in the future.

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