tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24204889868563729442024-03-13T11:10:02.916-04:00Winnie Cooper Tells AllMakin' it happen since 1981Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.comBlogger510125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-16379958270396684852013-08-07T08:25:00.002-04:002014-04-15T15:59:52.287-04:00Sign of a SyndromeThis is how I know I'm a detail-oriented person - while sitting at a stoplight, I noticed this sign:<br />
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Do you notice anything unusual or odd about it? I might not have either, except I'm THAT person. The same person who picks errors out on menus and finds pleasure in finding newspaper mistakes. Recognizing that this is an annoying and tedious trait, I often keep these things to myself.<br />
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If you notice anything odd about the signage here, comment below. If there are no comments, I will be confirmed of one of two things: a) no one notices or cares about such things, which is fine or b) no one is reading my blog, which, surprisingly, is also fine. I have come to accept this in my later years.<br />
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Want a hint?Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-34147703336397824382013-08-06T21:05:00.001-04:002013-08-06T21:05:33.204-04:00Cat-astrophe!So, I did a post on dogs, now I figured I should do one on cats. Yep, it's a slow week. I could sum it up quite succinctly: I dislike them.<br />
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I've never really been a cat person.<br />
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I never really know what to do with them. You can't roughhouse with them like dogs, they usually don't seem to care about you at all, and they're a little creepy. However, some cats seem to pick up on my disdain for them and make it their personal mission to sway me. It usually ends up with me awkwardly petting them and then testing the "They Always Land on All Fours" theory.<br />
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Lately, my lack of interest in cats has taken on a new life in my neighbourhood. Over the last several weeks, there has been a clear infestation of stray cats and they all seem to congregate (and plot?) on my front and back porches. They no longer are afraid or startled by my clapping my hands or throwing things at them. They just stare. Right on through to my soul, daring me to defy them again. <br />
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I feel like a prisoner in my own home. They sleep on my wicker and cushions, leaving tufts of hair everywhere. They stealthily creep around my yard, popping out unexpectedly. They get in the most heinous sounding cat fights I've ever heard. Probably over who can rule my roost.<br />
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You can't see the other two in this picture, but they have taken over.</div>
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There are four different cats that I can identify so far. I have named them after the four horsemen of the Apocalypse. I have been Googling home remedies for how to deter felines and tonight I have tried spraying lemon juice on my porch and patio furniture. I am crossing my fingers. And standing with a broom nearby ready to strike.<br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-80902184177059844052013-07-24T21:59:00.001-04:002014-06-20T12:43:39.275-04:00Dog Days of SummerI want a dog.<br />
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At the beginning of 2013, I vowed to either move permanently to New York City or get a dog. One is significantly more difficult than the other and since it's already July, I'm thinking that getting a dog is more likely to happen.<br />
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I have had a dog all through my childhood. First, there was Jasper - a mix of some sort who we eventually gave away to friends who had a farm - no really! That's not code for "put him down". <br />
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Then there was an annoyingly loud beagle, Sam (who we kept for exactly three days) and finally the beloved Tessa - a purebred Australian Shepherd.<br />
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Tessa was awesome in every way. She died in 2008 and I miss having a dog around. I think I would get another Australian Shepherd - they're such a great breed. The one thing I'm afraid of is getting a dog with a less-than-ideal temperament. It's the same fear I would have about a child. Sure, you can train them really well, but it's a bit of a crap shoot when it comes to their personality.<br />
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All signs point to dog ownership. I have a fenced in yard. I work from home so would have ample opportunity to train it properly. My doorbell is broken so it would be nice to have a barking visitor announcement.<br />
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However, I am out a lot. This is slightly worrisome as I don't want anything to cramp my social style. But, maybe it's time for me to take responsibility for more than myself. Hmmm. I ought to give this more thought.<br />
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Another thing I need to think about is a suitable name. A dog's name is so important. For a while I liked the name Lemon, but then worried that people might think my dog is gimpy or something. I also find human names really amusing - like Kevin or Mark. Just imagine yelling, "Here, Mark, come on boy!" Funny. <br />
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However, the real question is - does a single girl getting a dog look the same as a single girl getting a cat? Must avoid that at all costs.<br />
<br />Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-59831150591247081552013-07-08T11:50:00.000-04:002013-07-08T11:50:40.982-04:00RandomnessI love bacon as much as the next person. Or perhaps more. But come on now - this is ridiculous:<br />
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I've even heard recently of pot-flavoured bacon. Shouldn't this be the other way around?<br />
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I quite enjoyed the odd creativity of these umbrellas:<br />
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It was Tall Ships weekend in Hamilton recently and Bayfront Park and Piers 4 and 8 were bustling. I decided to spend a particularly lovely Sunday down by the water and even ventured there on my bicycle. On the road. Without a helmet - errrr.<br />
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I have never biked downtown before, but with the Yes We Cannon initiative as well as my new knowledge of the arm signals, I decided to give it a go. I got down there in less than 20 minutes with nary a car honking at me.<br />
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My friend Andreana was spending the day at the park preparing for the massive Canada Day celebration and I joined her on her VIP golf cart after lounging by the water and on a blanket with a book. It was a perfectly blissful day, topped off by joining my parents for lunch on a nearby sailboat.<br />
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A great day to be a Hamiltonian. Plus, by hanging out with Andreana in her VIP golf cart, I got a free soft serve ice cream.<br />
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The fireworks on Canada Day were incredible - just when you think they have tapped out all the possible firework creations, they invent another one! There were at least three fireworks that I had never seen before. And the greatest thing about Canada Day celebrations is that you get to stand and sing the national anthem. Outside of grade school, we don't get to do this anymore. I miss it. Plus it's heartwarming to see all the punks and seem-to-be hoodlums remove their baseball caps and stand at attention. Visible patriotism is the best.<br />
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I loved walking down James Street North and doing a double-take at this alleyway. It reminds me of a small Caribbean country or back alley in New Orleans. I love the effort at making their small area beautiful.<br />
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I love a good painting project. There are few other chores that make such a visible difference and so quickly. I have been known to paint over everything. Forget sweeping spiders off the porch, just paint over them. Forget dusting the stairs, just paint over it. I helped a friend with her painting project the other day and it was a satisfying job. <br />
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Several neighbours praised us as we worked, which makes me think they have all been hoping those unsightly stairs would be fixed. Were they the neighbourhood eyesore? That's saying a lot in our area of town!Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-77014248602576429102013-07-08T11:02:00.002-04:002013-07-08T11:02:29.958-04:00"Excuse me...."Asking someone to watch your computer at Starbucks is a strange exercise. Naturally, after drinking a venti medium roast coffee, nature will call and it is necessary to choose someone suitable to guard your belongings while you take a bathroom break.<br />
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Over the last couple of weeks, I have carefully selected guardians based on the following criteria:<br />
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- proximity<br />
- likelihood to steal my stuff<br />
- level of weirdness<br />
- age<br />
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Last week I asked an elderly lady to watch my computer and when I came back, I saw that she had fully turned her chair around and was intently staring at it, as if a thief could possibly swoop in and steal it at any moment. I loved this. She had made it her sole duty.<br />
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Today I asked a middle-aged man to take on the task and only after saying, "Excuse me" about four times did he grunt his acceptance. When I thanked him upon my return, he ignored me. Not quite the vigilant good Samaritan I had hoped for. <br />
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I think next time I will put society to the test and not ask anyone. I'm confident in our collective goodness. Or take my laptop to the bathroom....Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-35397881788654764742013-06-20T22:09:00.004-04:002013-06-20T22:09:37.130-04:00Sign of the TimesThe printed word has caught my eye several times in the last week. Here's a sample:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilkbYpQ01_qMlyEvIXTQFTRCV8teJuPOie8o4LLGaAzHHE0TZCIUO5oyRHV1r4DaDFDisOYX9I4l6lVB50C8SRbDfZsKdDfzj__eJR4gqK9uF-A9w9IhiUP350OOtB6clp_av5klTL/s1600/IMG-20130504-02693.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilkbYpQ01_qMlyEvIXTQFTRCV8teJuPOie8o4LLGaAzHHE0TZCIUO5oyRHV1r4DaDFDisOYX9I4l6lVB50C8SRbDfZsKdDfzj__eJR4gqK9uF-A9w9IhiUP350OOtB6clp_av5klTL/s320/IMG-20130504-02693.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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I love this idea. A grassroots strategy to get feedback about our neighbourhood. However, the method by which to relay this information is extremely limited. The website is abysmal and no one responds to any comments posted. Instead, we're supposed to comment through Twitter. <br />
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Well, what about those people like me who are only on Twitter to follow and have never posted a single tweet? I'm a taker, not a giver when it comes to 140 character thoughts. They don't even have a Twitter account, just simply a hashtag #walkthedelta.<br />
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I think I might just print directly on these posters with a Sharpie, where my answer is surely to be thrown away. Mostly, "I would walk the Delta, but...there are no trees, no green space, no planters. It's a concrete expanse." Truthfully, I do walk the Delta and have grown up around here, but it could certainly be visually improved a great deal. I love this concept, but it needs to be implemented in a more effective way.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKoB96GipEbHM6uUByCyQvwB3pF2ldtcCwiE56DiHWPFT9SMMG2Lx6GpOPYbUtccqEsd2UYvl5v363ZJvuu66ZbgFCSuZQ8zu1LSw5O8esY_qY93BsgUbgYuuhsGo-b6VoOZZoyPSk/s1600/IMG-20130613-02882.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgKoB96GipEbHM6uUByCyQvwB3pF2ldtcCwiE56DiHWPFT9SMMG2Lx6GpOPYbUtccqEsd2UYvl5v363ZJvuu66ZbgFCSuZQ8zu1LSw5O8esY_qY93BsgUbgYuuhsGo-b6VoOZZoyPSk/s320/IMG-20130613-02882.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>
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Well, this is just awesome. Some cheeky business owner knows the nature of his profession and that time will indeed tell if his customers come to regret this tattoo. My money is on yes.<br />
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This frustrates me so much. Both the blatant grammatical error, as well as the massive size of it is so embarrassing. If you're going to make a mistake, it's best that it's small enough to be overlooked. You know, like when I make a spelling mistake on this blog, and it is only picked up by two or three readers. A silver lining, if I've ever seen one. <br />
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The other thought I have whenever I see such insane errors in newspapers or on signage, is that there were surely at least 6-8 people who saw this before it showed up on my doorstep, so why did no one bring up the gaffe? I understand that it is not the publisher's responsibility, but if I were them, I would have made a quick call to the business, as a courtesy. Or who is their graphic person? Did they not notice the error? It's so unfortunate.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyDezwMY4G_S5ya90C9wXIWkh_lrwlm5hvdgG_sCM3enqYPA4b-YdKiKyK1v1aKqLFx-1eaaJN9DHOCYU2kBuYYybht1NpVRJCkYRhbHru5ZFg3K1qddNkWMBvrzC4-YwzXA6Na8K4/s1600/IMG-20130618-02892.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhyDezwMY4G_S5ya90C9wXIWkh_lrwlm5hvdgG_sCM3enqYPA4b-YdKiKyK1v1aKqLFx-1eaaJN9DHOCYU2kBuYYybht1NpVRJCkYRhbHru5ZFg3K1qddNkWMBvrzC4-YwzXA6Na8K4/s320/IMG-20130618-02892.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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This makes me happy. In the location that previously housed Tower Pizza in my neighbourhood, I am pleased to learn that this meatball shop will be soon opening. And free delivery! Hurray<br />
South Sherman.<br />
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This was just an unexpected part of Art Crawl on James Street North last week. A massive protest and parade, overseen and protected by....the police made its way through the gallerinas and hipsters. It's fairly timely since there was a civilian shooting death a few weeks ago that has not been fully explained, but it was a jarring sight.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-72627113110916574532013-06-20T21:50:00.002-04:002013-06-20T21:50:17.969-04:00Potato HeadIt is officially bicycle season. My trusty $15 garage sale bike continues to be amazing for tooling around, visiting the library, Ottawa Street, local friends and warranting my "Share the Road" bumper sticker.<br />
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The other evening I made my poorest bike decision to date. I had dinner plans with friends a few blocks away and had committed to bringing potatoes. I made these amazing scalloped potatoes and took them out of the over just as I was about to leave. I decided to place piping hot potatoes into my bike basket, which was a) too small and b) too easily covered in dripping Gruyere.<br />
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It was the most stressful 10 minutes as I cringed at every bump in the road and watched the potatoes lurch out of the pan right before my eyes. Then, when I arrived at my destination, I couldn't extract them from the basket. In the end, they still tasted delicious, but not the best use of my brain.<br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-86711109599450960082013-06-14T16:37:00.001-04:002013-06-14T16:37:59.740-04:00ZzzzzzI've also been a person who loves mid-day naps and I've recently learned that there are three types:<br />
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1. Planned napping - taking a nap when you know you'll be up later that night<br />
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2. Emergency napping - when you just can't keep your eyes open anymore<br />
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3. Habitual napping - when you take the same nap each day<br />
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I've been a fan of all three, but my favourite is the habitual nap. Working from home has many benefits, chief among them, the ability to plan a nap into my day. I get into a little routine that recently has included mashed avocado and Dijon on toast while watching an old Seinfeld or Flight Of The Conchords episode, followed by the most delightful couch nap.<br />
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I fear that if I ever leave this job and have to return to the restraints of typical employment, I will be severely disadvantaged. I will need to negotiate daily naps into my contract.<br />
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I've always had the ability to nap almost anywhere:<br />
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Once I started looking, it was surprising how many pictures I have of myself sleeping. Weird.<br />
I will always remember fondly a little "trick" I used to pull when I was really small, around 5 - 8 years old. When my family would be driving home from somewhere late at night, I would fall asleep and usually awake right when we pulled into the driveway. But I would keep my eyes closed and pretend to still be asleep so that my Dad would carry me into the house. I'm sure he was totally on to me, but it was one of my favourite things.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-23342824567281073632013-06-14T16:37:00.000-04:002013-06-14T16:37:23.468-04:00Gala GalThe Art Gallery of Hamilton annual gala is always one of my favourite events of the year. I attend the cocktail part through CLiC, the young professional AGH group and then we join the "grown-ups" for the dance portion. It's always a great opportunity to mingle with the movers and shakers in Hamilton (I'm using that phrase in the event that my friend Kevin reads it), dress up, get hair and make-up done and have a fun night out.<br />
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I have attended the last three years.<br />
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2011</div>
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2012</div>
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2013</div>
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Inevitably, the night ends up at Embassy, where my gown gets booze spilled on it and my hair falls down as I lose a dance-off with a drag queen. I like an evening with a bit of variety. I also look forward to when I am no longer a "young" professional and get to/have to go to the formal dinner portion of the event and bid on auction items that are not a wine tour.<br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-85250035396583824272013-06-14T13:35:00.000-04:002013-06-14T13:35:45.470-04:00Spring ShotsThis is how my spring has shaped up so far.<br />
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Optimism</div>
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I'm not sure what I was thinking in purchasing all this fresh produce for one small girl. Needless to say, most of it didn't make it. Well, I mean, it made it to the green bin.</div>
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Happiness</div>
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I love to see creativity like this (made with a garden hose) and especially when it's downtown. How can you not be happy when you see this?</div>
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Morbid Curiosity</div>
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It took me at least ten minutes of intense, yet at-a-distance, staring to determine that this is a bird's head. Dead head. Then there was another ten minutes of wondering what had happened to the body.</div>
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Illegal Exercise</div>
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A friend and I decided to "<em>start doing the Wentworth stairs three times a week! YAY!"</em> This lasted for exactly two days, and one of these times we veered a little off the beaten track and ended up hopping a train like a hobo. We were ultimately chastised by a strict neighbour.</div>
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Surprise</div>
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Well, isn't that lovely?</div>
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Disappointment</div>
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We were too late. This amazing black/bronze hutch unit was sold for a mere $13 dollars! I couldn't believe it. I tried everything - offered her scads of money and first born children (not mine, my friend's) but it was not to be. She was loyal to the original purchaser. It's probably for the best since I have exactly zero places to put it in my house. But, still, so beautiful.</div>
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Celebration</div>
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There is nothing like balloons to lift spirits and celebrate birthdays, especially on an dreary day. Balloons are the #2 thing that people can carry down the street that makes me happy. The #1 thing is a bouquet of flowers being carried by a man. Beam.</div>
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-19926490203165856542013-06-13T10:35:00.000-04:002013-06-13T10:35:29.082-04:00Personal Evaluations<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidED-oJh8PzB8UK4ECtcy-Tqnjq38VOFwnGQwIeJlKVQQBPjsf-9vmgPNYYMBLyoR40NRrKCcGA-gCs6vTRGmL2Vu0tEcznEvsWxYV_Spt74vq94fmyL9MmfYUYzplxUs9vPrEHoOP/s1600/IMG-20130429-02657.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidED-oJh8PzB8UK4ECtcy-Tqnjq38VOFwnGQwIeJlKVQQBPjsf-9vmgPNYYMBLyoR40NRrKCcGA-gCs6vTRGmL2Vu0tEcznEvsWxYV_Spt74vq94fmyL9MmfYUYzplxUs9vPrEHoOP/s320/IMG-20130429-02657.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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Any questions?<br />
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Personal evaluation time is always interesting. Honesty, humility and hard work are all put to the test. I am a big fan of making goals for myself and checking items off the list. Personal goals are a lot more entertaining than work ones. I have been making resolutions, goals and monthly To Do lists for years. Here is a sample of some of the more ridiculous:<br />
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- go horseback riding<br />
- don't lock keys in car this year<br />
- delete ___<em>crush's name from 2001 inserted here</em>___ voicemail on my cell. Finally!<br />
- learn how to knit<br />
- grow my nails<br />
- be more discreet at work<br />
- be more caring to others<br />
- do 25 sit-ups each day<br />
- join Scrabble club<br />
- be on TV<br />
- cut out mayonnaise<br />
- figure out how the heck to play backgammon<br />
- become ambidextrous <br />
- try on a blond wig to see how I'd look<br />
- ride a skateboard<br />
- complete a Rubik's Cube<br />
- pick up dropped change<br />
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As far as a personal evaluation goes for these items, I've been mildly successful with some and downright dismal with others.<br />
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I still have decades to achieve these, right?Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-57654246120957601072013-06-12T16:35:00.001-04:002013-06-12T22:46:22.298-04:00Hess HoHess Village. For any Hamiltonian who has lived their young and stupid years here, this block of bars, clubs and patios has been the scene of many a messy night.<br />
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One club in particular, Koi, was my local haunt and even spawned a nickname for my group of dancing friends - the aptly and alliteratively named Koi Krew. There was a period where we headed to Koi at any opportunity to dance, drink and strut around until we stumbled out for street meat and to watch the inevitable street fights that followed.<br />
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I haven't been to Hess Village after dark for a long time, instead preferring to take advantage of their patio collection on summer afternoons and happy hours. There are fewer eighteen year old idiots learning how to drink and forgetting how to be useful members of society. I fully recognize that I was once that idiot, although never at eighteen, and that I will one day look at people my current age and lambast them for being dumb thirty year olds who think they know everything. So it goes.<br />
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Anyway, I was driving down Hess Street the other day and saw this advertisement on a bar that seems to be eternally under construction:<br />
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Is this not the saddest example of marketing you've ever seen? Who decided this was a good image to promote their establishment? It's like you have drunk goggles on when looking at it. This girl looks like she had too many Singapore Slings and is waiting for her more sober friends to help her stumble home. She may or may not have just thrown up. To dudes looking to seal a deal by 2am, this girl is the definition of "low hanging fruit". She looks about one well placed, "Hey girl" away from going home with a mistake.<br />
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Dear Ora (also - terrible bar name): with this marketing strategy, you will be attracting the worst of the drunken worst. Seriously, fire whoever advised this and take it down immediately. Put up literally ANY other image. You should be embarrassed.<br />
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Sure, some of us have been this girl at one point or another, but I guarantee none of us would want photographic evidence of it. To my friends in particular, I thank you for your continued respect of the privacy agreement we have in place regarding such images that may exist.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-36584937635499003292013-04-26T10:23:00.002-04:002013-04-26T10:23:53.487-04:00A RecapLife has run away with me again, leaving me with no time to blog. But I have exactly one hour before I leave to go on a bus tour to Pittsburgh with 25 young professionals to see what lessons can be learned from that city's transformation from steel hub to creative centre, so I will fit in what I can.<br />
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Let's see what I can cover.<br />
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Family Wedding - this was the first wedding for either side of my family and all the cousins were in attendance. It was great fun, but there was this photographer who was completely ridiculous - he kept laying down in the aisles, nearly resting his head on the father of the groom's lap and just being all around awkward. You can't really tell from this picture, but that's his foot in the aisle - he's full on lying down.<br />
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The raccoons have been wreaking havoc on my lawn - apparently in the search for grubs that are wreaking havoc on my lawn roots. Awesome. I've been told that human hair, cayenne pepper or these other bugs will fix the problem. Sounds like I just need the eye of a newt and the potion should be complete.<br />
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My beloved <a href="http://winniecoopertellsall.blogspot.ca/2010/09/last-hurrah-garage-sale.html" target="_blank">dollhouse</a> that I time-share with my friend Dru has finally made it back into my possession. I think our arrangement must be that she gets it for two and a half years, then I do. It's so awesome - vintage, from Eatons in the 60s...I have more fun with it than a 31 year old should.<br />
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Come ON with the teeny tiny New York Times! There's something about small things that really appeals to me. I'm not sure why, but a regular sized copper tea kettle is only a fraction of how interesting a <span style="font-size: xx-small;">teeny tiny</span> copper tea kettle is.<br />
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I thought this ad was pretty clever. At first you think it's just for some sort of skin product, but then you read closer...</div>
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...and you realize it's for the Hamilton airport. Well done.<br />
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My major work conference has been monopolizing a lot of my time lately and my kitchen became delegate bag central last week.<br />
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I hate to sound like an old lady, and I know that the music festival Coachella is the most absurd, hippie, hipster place to be, but what are the kids wearing these days?! You LOOK RIDICULOUS.<br />
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Seriously, look at this guy. No, look again. Sigh.<br />
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Dodgeball is over for another season. We came in second place in our division and were undefeated for every game but one. We have improved an incredible amount since our first season and I think we have a strong and cohesive team now. It has been my favourite thing of the week, hands down. I love the nervous feeling I get on Thursday afternoons as I get ready for the game. And win or lose, it's always such an adrenaline rush. And now, I have a hat to show for it, which I will wear proudly.<br />
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Ok, I'm off to Pittsburgh now - I am preparing myself for cheese steaks. Oh, wait, that's Philadelphia. Nevermind.<br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-81850588201223819282013-03-24T21:58:00.002-04:002013-03-24T21:58:23.071-04:00Bored of the RingThe first Saturday of spring, and a sunny one at that. How should it be spent? Hiking, clearing out winter debris from the yard, strolling in the park? Sure, or you could do what six of my friends and I did and spend it indoors taking in an all-day Lord of the Rings marathon. Believe me, this was not my first choice, however, I have bossed them around for years, so it's my turn to be agreeable.<br />
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Everyone else was pretty keen and also shocked that I have only seen one of the three movies. So, we descended on our friend Kit's awesome home (with insanely tall doors!) and turned the living room into couch city with air mattresses, pillows , Snuggies and blankets. No one seemed to get when I kept yelling, "The floor is lava!" which was a frequent phrase from childhood fort days. Does anyone else get it?<br />
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We started around 10am and didn't leave until after midnight, bleary-eyed and exhausted. If I saw one more battle scene, I would have lost it. These movies just aren't my cup of tea, but the good news is that I get to pick the next movie marathon day. First off, it won't be for several years, but I'm thinking Ocean's 11, 12 and 13? What else has three movies that I would want to subject them to? And don't say Back to the Future or anything with the word "Star" in the title.<br />
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We did take several breaks during disc changes for awesome food, including a thematic stew, a walk to the end of the block, and a random pellet gun activity. We were trying to hit the cherry tomato on this gnome's head. We failed.<br />
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Of course it was a great day to just hang out with my friends and for me, it's the true test of friendship - if the day can be filled with orcs, elves, wizards and this annoying stare:<br />
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...and I still have a good time, that means I have great friends. Plus it was great to see this handsome fella again. Every time I see him I'm wearing a Snuggie...<br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-54563948853351749522013-03-24T20:29:00.001-04:002013-03-24T20:32:03.150-04:00Pong PartyThe last couple years my friends and I have spent the month of March doing new things we've never done before. Our activities have included rock climbing, go-karts, segway tours, and trampolining. This March, we got a bit of a slow start but last weekend we tried ping pong at Spin in Toronto. It's basically a bar/club with ping pong tables - a creation of Susan Sarandon.<br />
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It was pretty fun, but I found we only needed the hour we booked. No one is very good and it's so chaotic that we were just trying to hit the ball, rather than play a game properly. The beauty of it is that you get a bucket of balls to just go to town with and there is a "ball boy" who goes around and picks up the errant balls. I haven't played since high school in a friend's basement - where all ping pong tables live - and it was a fun little activity.<br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-50621206051035760982013-03-24T20:18:00.000-04:002013-03-24T20:18:06.063-04:0048 Hours in PEIHave you ever been to PEI? I've now been there three times, twice in the past year. It's a very small place, in both size and influence, but what it lacks in excitement, it makes up for in hospitality. The people there are some of the most friendly and welcoming I've ever encountered.<br />
<br />
I was there last week for a work site visit for an upcoming conference and in my hotel suite, I was greeted with candy and lemonade, after a random comment weeks before revealed I enjoy these treats. <br />
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I was wined and dined and even welcomed into my host's home while I awaited my flight. This flight, by the way, in boarded by actually walking down the runway to the plane. It's almost like visiting a small Caribbean country. Almost.<br />
<br />
I was also gifted with the obligatory Anne of Green Gables hat and made to pose all around the airport:<br />
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The bangs stuck straight out. The hat is now here at home and I don't know what to do with it. Although, it's better than the other hat I wore during the visit:<br />
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I was also lucky enough to see the most ridiculous jacuzzi tub in one of the finer hotel suites. Seriously, PEI, you're so cute.<br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-24269077676481307652013-03-19T21:52:00.000-04:002013-06-12T22:47:54.530-04:00Ad Absurdum<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
You probably can't get a true sense of this First Ontario ad, and how ridiculous this man looks, but it cracks me up. His stance is so random. He's a doctor in Hamilton, I think a chiropractor, and whoever decided on this look for the ad is off the wall. It's very strange. Although, I guess some would say it's a successful ad since I'm talking about it and keep mentioning it to people. Hmm.Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-29277938125906408242013-03-17T14:05:00.001-04:002013-03-17T14:05:46.619-04:00The Melissa Manifesto Vol. II<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong><u>The Melissa Manifesto - The 30 Decade </u></strong></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<strong>Vol. II</strong></div>
I BELIEVE....<br />
<br />
- That people should see guests out and not close the door until they're out of sight.<br />
<br />
- "I would love to come" are five of the best words.<br />
<br />
- In having music playing when people are coming over.<br />
<br />
- In handwritten cards.<br />
<br />
- In nights/events where the entire world is doing/watching the same thing (New Years Eve or Olympics).<br />
<br />
- That eating at the bar is usually better than eating at a table.<br />
<br />
- In Joshua Jackson.<br />
<br />
- In two armed hugs.<br />
<br />
- In walking a little further for free parking.<br />
<br />
- In second dates being one of the best social interactions of all time.<br />
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-7312002712414593082013-03-17T14:01:00.002-04:002013-03-17T14:01:33.147-04:00Plenty of Bleak<span style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">It seems like it has been a long
time since I have blogged (read: complained) about the online dating scene.
Well, today after being inundated by more stupidity than I can handle, it is
time.<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"></span></span><br />
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Here is a snapshot of what sort
of messages you can expect as a single woman on an online dating site (verbatim from my Inbox): <o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-weight: bold; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">- "Sure, you can bowl, but have you ever done MSN Live Bowling – that
is the question."<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">- "wanking about on some dodgy foreign web site. wouldn't you like
to know mate . well surf away , surf surf , and bloody surf & Travel,
travel heaps of fun, been to too many bloody places, love the planet. Not to
mention a schooner of carlton draught and fair go mate. .Aussie Aussie Aussie
OI OI OI , Thank god for the best place on earth. Fairdinkum"</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">- "</span><span style="mso-bidi-font-family: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;">hey there, you look
familiar, were you ever in a porno?"<o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">-“Hi.”</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Reading their profiles also reveals lots of gems that make me consider joining the nunnery.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">- "I'm a real laddies man" So, I'm presuming this is a gay man or a bad speller. Neither is what I'm looking for.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">- "$$$$$$$$$" That was his entire profile.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">- "Life is for living." Commence eye roll.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">- "I won't bite...unless you want me to." Continue eye roll.</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">And I don't mean to be judgemental (ha), but I'm also not interested in dating the following:</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">- grandfathers</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">- men who post pictures of themselves with their multiple rabbits</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">- men who have dressed up as Spock for three Hallowe'ens in a row</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">- men who list "walking" as an interest - really?</span></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">- any of these guys:</span></span></div>
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<span style="mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-CA;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm sorry, but are they living in some sort of alternative universe where we would be a match?</span></span></div>
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-5622280787071910082013-03-13T19:05:00.000-04:002013-03-13T19:05:09.466-04:00Ryan CostanzaThe other night I was looking at pictures and came across this one, which I'd seen a dozen times before. But I now realized how hilarious it is. This is our group in the Dominican Republic for Ryan and Julie's joint Bachelor/ette trip. The group is all happy and smiley:<br />
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<br />Then you notice the creeper in the background. The creeper is Ryan.<br />
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I can't stop laughing at this. He looks all suspicious and weird-o so far away from us, watching us get our picture taken together. It reminded me of that hilarious Seinfeld episode (nearly everything can be linked back to a Seinfeld episode) where George gets caught in a family beach photo for a potential boss and tries to get himself Photoshopped out.</div>
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I'm dying over here.<br />
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-16117074251330541992013-03-06T22:05:00.001-05:002013-03-06T22:05:04.954-05:00Final ProductsThe latest in my quest to fill the winter months with new and fresh activities took me to a pottery class at the Dundas Valley School of Art. It was a McMaster Alumni event and I took my fellow Marauder friend, Elo. <br />
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We tried hand sculpting, the wheel, glazing and firing our creations. This is what my hand pottery ended up looking like after being fired in a 'more-dangerous-than-you-might-think situation:<br />
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It's a bit wobbly and will certainly make a nice pencil cup or something. I'm still waiting on my other pottery item, but I'll save you the suspense and tell you that it's a ... bowl.<br />
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While waiting for the glaze process, we were encouraged to just let the clay speak to us and create whatever we wanted, but there was a definite emphasis on spirit animals. Cue eye roll.<br />
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I started making a turtle, then a snail (what do these slow animals say about my spirit??) but then gave in an made a cornucopia. The instructor wasn't impressed. But then I also made an abstract blob. Still not impressed.<br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-17555622242764491652013-03-06T21:48:00.001-05:002013-03-06T21:48:42.011-05:00An exercise in trust and humanityStep One:<br />
Answer email of interested party with regard to item for sale through Kijiji.<br />
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Step Two:<br />
Tell buyer that you will put the sale item in the milkbox and they can come by at their leisure to pick it up and leave the money in its place.<br />
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Step Three:<br />
Open said milkbox with trepidation and find money there, with a "Thank You" note to boot! <br />
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Step Four:<br />
Faith in the goodness of humanity firmly in place.<br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-80225219240494449732013-03-06T21:43:00.003-05:002013-03-06T21:43:57.038-05:00SpeculationI have recently started subscribing to the Hamilton Spectator and while I'm enjoying the local perspective and becoming well-versed in our city's issues, I have had it up to *here* with the delivery system. They know me by my voice at the complaint department since I call every other day complaining about the absence or incorrect location of my paper. I've definitely turned into that crazy old lady who chases hooligans away with a broom in the neighbourhood. In a house dress.<br />
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This story caught my eye this week and made me say, "Really, Spec? Perhaps blank space is sometimes a better idea." How is this news? Sigh.<br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-12733491192923329102013-03-06T21:16:00.001-05:002013-03-06T21:16:10.468-05:00Dear Diary<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I used to write a daily journal. Almost every day from the age of 17 to 26. I have dozens of lined journals filled with my thoughts and activities for almost a decade - and a very exciting and interesting decade at that. I've been rereading them lately and it's like reading a YA novel. Well, a sloppy and poorly written one. But one with rich characters, the best and the worst of times and events that are still so vivid in my mind. By rereading these entries, I am able to almost relive it. The details provided allow me to be right back there again. <br />
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I've always been worried about forgetting. Forgetting good things that happened, having people forget me, having friendships disappear, forgetting how something or someone made me feel. I'm not sure why, but it's been comforting to know that any time I want to remember I can just open up a journal.<br />
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There are many ridiculous stories that make me cringe at my naivety and inexperience and howl with laughter at my grandiose thoughts and inner most secrets. I'm certainly a different person than I was at 19.<br />
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But at the same time, I am exactly the same person I was back then. It's been very easy to see patterns of behaviour, ways of dealing with stress, and identical situations and characteristics that I still have today.<br />
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This particular passage may explain why I didn't make the Dean's List in university and why I'm such a word nerd:<br />
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<em>"I'm in class but I was reluctant to come to it because I had a 74,000 score on Text Twist...which is really good."</em><br />
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Inspired by the joy I experience by having these old journals at my disposal, I have decided to start writing on a daily basis again. I have been writing frequently over the last several years, but usually only about certain topics on my mind or when I need to unload. Writing about my daily activities, people and my feelings about them both will allow me to capture how my life is at this stage. It's too bad that I haven't been writing diligently for the past five years, because I'm pretty sure they might be some of the most interesting, exciting and outrageous years of my life. I became single after a long-term relationship and entered the murky waters of dating, buying a home and really creating my life for myself. It's been an absolute thrill and I wish I had recorded it. In any event, I expect that these years I'm living now will prove to be just as exciting and I know I'll enjoy reading them in the future.<br />
Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2420488986856372944.post-19780282904781908362013-02-28T10:52:00.001-05:002013-02-28T10:52:20.276-05:00Working From HomeWorking from home can be tricky. Sometimes it is amazing and I thrive on making my own hours and working in my pyjamas while eating hot lunches. And other times, I feel a bit isolated and it's difficult to remain motivated day after day. So, when that feeling strikes, I start taking my work elsewhere, at least for a couple hours of the day.<br />
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Today, I worked from the Locke Street Starbucks for the early morning. It's such a wonderful place to be for me. Any coffee shop, really. I enjoy working from Mulberry or Cannon Coffee as well. Being around the bustle of the morning rush crowd, running into acquaintances, hearing the best coffee shop music mixes and, of course, the jolt of caffeine keeps me going.<br />
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I enjoyed listening to the group of Jewish men tell stories about their being served pork chops when they were 17 years old and meeting a girlfriend's family. I enjoyed the awkwardness of staring at a woman while I tried to figure out if it was indeed my waxer. Turns out, it wasn't. You'd think I'd remember her face. I enjoyed humming along to Adele, Amy, and Otis while doing the crossword and reading the paper.<br />
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Quite a delightful little morning. Now, I'm back at my desk, riding the caffeine wave and being very productive. Until the nap crash.<br />
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Melissahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14206134156007582782noreply@blogger.com0