Sunday, April 1, 2012

Lowest of the Low

When I used to have a job that required me to leave the house and my pyjamas in the morning, I would often listen to the radio shows on my drive to work. Virgin Radio 99.9 has a recurring spot where they indulge paranoid or rightfully worried people who want to confirm whether or not their partner is cheating on them. Have you heard this?

These distraught people, usually women, would call in and spill their story about neglect, recent gym memberships, long hours at work and their suspicions of infidelity to the most heartless voices on the other end. Then the radio hosts put their plan into action: they call the alleged offending partner and offer them up a bouquet of roses or some night on the town in exchange for answering a short survey. Then, once the idiot agrees, they ask them who they want to send the flowers to/go out on the town with and every single time I listened, the person named someone other than their spouse/partner. At this point, the spouse/partner, who has been listening in along with most of the commuting GTA, freaks out and the offender is bewildered, caught in the act and completely blindsided. This is the premise. These are my problems with it.

1. Have these people never heard of mature communication? Or biting the bullet and asking their partner for honesty? You know, having a grown up conversation instead of throwing them under the bus and "catching" them in a most inappropriate way.

2. The radio hosts obviously see this as a great sport and they're out for blood. And ratings. The female one always offers the insincere 'last chance out' where she clearly does not want to provide this sniffling girl with any other options. Who came up with this idea of airing dirty laundry and involving complete strangers and sharing the unfortunate news with loved ones in the worst way possible?

3. What kind of idiot accepts a free anything after answering a survey that consists of 3 questions about their latest oil change? Nothing is free, buddy. Hang up! And who sees a survey call at 7:30am as legitimate anyway? How these dolts haven't managed to trip up all on their own and get caught is a mystery to me.

4. Granted, infidelity is one of the worst things you can subject someone to and it is the least respectful way to treat a partner, but this caper is very low as well. Blindsiding someone you love on the radio, in public, about any part of your relationship is just so repugnant. It makes me so uncomfortable to listen to this level of distress and pain, that I always change the dial right away. And this level of distress and pain in the morning? Before donuts, cocktails or lattes? Not cool.

5. Who's to say that because John Doe said some other girl's name when faced with the opportunity to send free flowers, it means he is cheating? Maybe he wants to send flowers to a friend who's having a hard time...perhaps someone's who's just been cheated on. Boo ya! Or maybe there are other extenuating circumstances or reasons to give the guy a chance to explain. Instead, the wronged chick freaks out, berates and accuses him in the public forum and probably locks him out of their house.

6. Why would anyone call someone named Mad Dog for advice or assistance in their life?

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