I am having one. There is half of me that loves baking, homemaking, organizing, puttering, going to the library, cleaning and being quiet and alone. There is the other half that loves champagne, short skirts and stilettos, dancing like a maniac, staying out late, screaming, adventure and impulsive decisions.
This past weekend has been a study of my contradictions. Early on Saturday I had a nice lunch with a friend (sushi, natch) and then was far too pleased to buy matching shoe boxes and a saucepan that was on sale. Yeah. Fast forward 7 hours and I was crazy dancing at a fabulous party (with my fabulous gay friends, natch), swilling cocktails, jumping from soiree to soiree and begging to keep the party going at 3:30am.
I loved both parts of my day. I'm definitely at a point where I feel that I need to shake things up. Getting out of town is on my mind. Where? How? When? The organized, responsible part of me is unable to just jump up and fly away. But I'm currently not tied down to anything and this might be the right time to make a move.
It is always a struggle not to look at those around me and compare our situations. I know this is never a good plan, but sometimes I think that this isn't where I thought I'd be at 28. Others have babies, houses, husbands, steady jobs, pension plans, financial advisors.... I have none of these things.
How do I find that balance of the two mes? I want this and I want that. Do I try to have them both at the same time? Or one now and the other later?
Aargh. Ok, one thing at a time - I'm going to go eat the shortbread I just made. Yes, good plan.