Friday, October 2, 2009

Text like you MEAN it

Ok, seriously, what is up with everyone? Why so sensitive? Is it me? Do people not understand my humour? I recently went out with this guy a couple times and thought he seemed pretty cool. Tall, funny, the usual stuff. He wasn't as sarcastic as I would have liked but it's not like I had to explain my jokes to him or anything and in person he was good with the banter. After our second date, that was pretty baffling in a separate way, we texted a few times and I made what I thought was an innocent, yet relevant joke. Then nothing! Nothin'! He had asked me out before this joke and then nothing!

Apparently, according to the friends tribunal, his ego was bruised (he was the tender age of 35 - my ceiling) and/or he couldn't take the good-natured ribbing. I even tried to smooth things over and still nothin'. So, it turns out, not as cool as I originally thought. Are men babies? Am I meaner than I think I am. It's baffling.

The second text disaster I made was with this other guy (also over 35, interestingly) who was talking about getting new tires. He joked that his life has been reduced to tires and I replied something about how he wasn't a re-tread with me. Funny? Punny, at least? Well, I thought it was, but the response I got leads me to believe he wasn't impressed.

I'm concluding that it has to be the texts! It has to be! This communication medium is really not working for me. I'm managing to alienate and altogether turn away people I like. No one cares that I have perfect spelling and grammatical form in these texts. Or that I reply promptly. Or that I don't go overboard on emoticons. One joke or stupid pun and it's over. There is a great need for a sarcasm font or emoticon. Maybe one with this kind of face:

It may not be limited to texting, however. My mother recently said, "I'd wouldn't like to meet the girl who writes your blog. She's mean." I don't have the heart to tell her we're the same person.

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