Friday, October 2, 2009

Mad driving skillz, cubed.

I'm quite adept at driving the 16' cube truck. No, really. I do almost every week for work as we schlep chandeliers, sofas, floral arrangements etc. around town. There has only been one mishap (the other one doesn't count because no one saw it and we don't need sandwich boards anyway) over the year and half since I first got behind the wheel.

It was TIFF '08, I was rushing to the Swarovski opening to get these male models their tuxedos. In Yorkville. During rush hour. There was one of those orange diamond construction signs - maybe something like this:I pulled up beside it then for some reason jumped the curb and drove over it while dragging it alongside my truck. In front of a sidewalk patio - some people actually jumped up from their tables to avoid my path of destruction. Bit of an overreaction, don't you think ma'am? Once I realized what I was doing, there was nothing else to do but reverse to get off the curb and sign. That noise again, the stares, the pitiful expression on my face that I hoped said:

"Oooh, my God, I'm so sorry. This has never happened before. I'm so embarrassed, yet still fully capable, you need not worry. Eeee, sooorrry, you guys."

But coupled with the damage and the fact that I was wearing a cocktail dress and looked about 17, it probably said:

"Heee hee hee, I've never even driven before. Don't have my licence. Hahaheeha, but aren't I cute. You should all think I'm adorable and not care that some metals shards have just landed in your Cobb salad. Tee hee."

I originally started this post with the intention of writing about my truck driving experience today, but it turns out, I'm no longer in the mood. Happy trails.

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