Thursday, November 26, 2009


How does water expire? We have several cases of Evian left from Fashion Week, but we are now forbidden to drink it as the expiry date has passed. Are you kidding me? I once ate a piece of pie off the floor. And washed it down with a dented can of Pepsi. Bring it, Evian.
On my recent morning drives through downtown Hamilton, I have been seeing more and more prostitutes out and about. All before 8:30am. In their fishnets, fake fur coats, makeup from last week and matted hair don'ts, they really do our city proud. At night is one thing (one sad, vile thing), but to see them in the morning....some of this 'ladies' really shouldn't ever been seen in the light.

Besides, who are the johns frequenting Emerald and Steven Street at this time? A disease before work to start the day off right?
Speaking of weird things happening at weird times of the day, since when do Tiger Cat tailgate parties start at 9am? Barbecues are blazing, Budweiser is swilled and people have already bought their big yellow foam fist. Don't games start at, like, 4pm? I would one day like to go to a tailgate party (although not in Hamilton, obviously) but there's no way I'm eating any hot dogs before the strike of noon. Ok, fine, maybe 11 if you have sauerkraut and the good mustard. Or if I happen to go to Ikea some morning. Mmmm, Ikea hot dogs...
Let's all agree to stop talking about H1N1. Please.

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