There are 3 places no one wants to be.
1) sleeping next to an obese and angry racoon with only a thin piece of drywall between you
This happened the other night as I was awoken by this critter in the new edition of my bedroom. He had climbed up (on the ladder?!?) and then got up into the attic. After a satisfying meal of camping crackers and macaroni from school projects he decided to rub and butt up against my 'wall' and scare the crap out of me. We were all up with flashlights, video cameras, and bleary-eyed glares. He wasn't going anywhere, so there was no sleep that night.
2) on the side of the highway with a flat tire
Driving up the 403 to Ancaster, I had that uneasy feeling that something was wrong. Turns out, getting a flat tire is just like they say about meeting The One, you just know. I wobbled over to the side of the road, considered changing it myself (Yes, I know how to do that. Probably.), then called CAA.
As I waited, I was surprisingly calm - usually I would be so annoyed at being late and inconvenienced. I've mellowed. However, I did feel slightly jealous as I watched hundreds of cars fly by me. They're all so smug with their fully inflated tires, driving without a care in the world! While I sit here, cold, deflated and dejected - makes me sick. I still wore my seatbelt because I think I saw that news story about people hitting breakdowns - thought it couldn't hurt. Every time a truck with tow lights came around the corner, I got so excited that it was my roadside saviour. But, nope. Turns out it's just some jacka** driving a huge truck - he's probably eating pork rinds and headed to the Monster Truck Jam.
3) in Party Packagers or any costume store 2 days before Hallowe'en
This also happened the same day and really, there are no further words needed. It was hell masquerading as a retail outlet.
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