Friday, December 16, 2011

Means to the End

Have you seen this billboard around town? Now, I consider myself very blessed to not yet know the cost of a funeral, however, this seems to be a new level of depressing. In a perfect world, I believe that a funeral should represent the person's life and attempt to be a remembrance. I certainly don't want my funeral to be 'basic'. Hmmm, perhaps I should start saving up now.

I've already mentioned a song that I'd love to have play at my funeral and it might be strange to say, but I've got some other ideas as well.

If fact, when I was in high school (believe it or not, the most heightened period of my self-absorbed introspection) I would often think about who would attend my funeral. It was morbid, but would my crush from calculus come? My boss at the golf club where I worked? That person I don't like - have they been able to tell?

I care a lot less these days about who would be there because I know the people in my life and what I mean to them and vice versa. So now that the guest list is intact, I should start thinking about how to ensure they'll have a great time. I am nothing if not an eternal host.

Food:Selfishly, I would like the food to be only ones that I like. Or liked.
- sushi (and none of the seaweed salad filler)
- sandwiches (I am currently undergoing a lifelong search for the perfect sandwich artist in my absence. This is what wills are for right?)
- Nanaimo bars and other squares baked by someone's grandmother. Obviously not mine.
- pie, and lots of it
- cheese, and more of it

Beverages: (How else do people deal with grief and spill crazy stories about me?)
- Cosmopolitans
- Manhattans
- milkshakes
- pink lemonade

Activities:Yes, this will be an active funeral. In fact, I'd like it to have a theme somehow. Ok, fine, "How Awesome She Was" will suffice.
- trivia - You know how at weddings sometimes they ask trivia questions about the couple to get them to kiss? I like this idea for my wake. The prize for each correct answer: I won't haunt you.
- Dance Off - I'm already expecting to come down to Ryan and Paul in the finals.
- Distributing of my greatest assets: 5 vintage Spice Girls dolls in original packaging (Dan, you're the front runner for possession), and my hand written journals (these should go to someone with the tact to delete sensitive passages)

Venue:- If Westminster Abbey and New York's Bloomingdales are unavailable, try any other place of worship.
- Outside would be cool, but only if it's a perfect day. I really like Gage Park, but then there is the risk of random weirdos wandering into the service. Try to avoid that, unless they're my friends.
- As far as ashes being scattered somewhere, I like the romantic notion of this, but I'm pretty sure it doesn't look the way it does in the movies. I've still got some time to think about this. Right??

Ok, it's Friday afternoon, I think it's best for me to stop dwelling on the end and get out and live my weekend. It promises be a good one! Lots of Christmas baking, live music with talented musician types, a holiday party, last minute shopping and sushi. Viva la Winnie!

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