LGFW Random Photos

You probably can't see, but that tag says "All Access", baby. And yet, I still get these 16 year old security guards trying to stop me.

Lions and boxwood and disco balls, oh my!

Moving boxes that will then be danced upon by gold dusted drag queens vogueing in picture frames. Yep. If you're unsure of the weight of these boxes, Rob's face says it all.

Of course Rob has the seat of honour next to Robin Kay. In his head, he's singing "Blame It On The Boogie" by MJ.

Potential Candidate...

...for the World's Ugliest Chair.

Seriously. I can't even stomach it. Am I blind to the fabulousness? Boss thinks so.

LGFW: Life is sweet

Delicate dress made of French macarons. Sure, let's move it again. No problem. Rob crunched at least 2 in the transport.
Joanna nervously transporting the hat that was melting in her hands.

LGFW - the set-up

Trying to take more pictures this season to more fully illustrate the scope of the craziness. Today it began in Home Depot as I tried to understand something about flooring reducers and why this guy was going to have to take 20 minutes to cut 2 7" pieces of wood for me.

Home Depot was where I had my most major of meltdowns last season so I'm a little on edge every time I'm there. Luckily I haven't had to go there 4 times in one day yet, so that's an improvement.

I still play the damsel diva in distress which usually works wonders with the guys of Home Depot. They seem to really enjoy helping me if I sweeten my requests with a little naivete and uselessness.

Judging this book by its cover

A guest at our cottage took this picture of our dock and lake. It was chosen to go on the cover of both this book and the Reader's Digest Fall 2010 trade catalogue. Cool, huh?

How can such a sad day look so beautiful and idyllic?

Randomness

On a day when you wear two equally useful belts, you just know that something is going to be odd about that day.
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Fashion Week is going uncharacteristically smoothly and we are well ahead of schedule. Which is why I have two minutes free to blog and have actually had the opportunity to eat a yogurt.
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Singers should be banned from including siren sounds in their songs. As a vehicle operator, who already got pulled over this week, I am a little nervous about speeding and that isn't helping.
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Last weekend while in line to go dancing, some chicks got into a fight and one of them kept screaming the following at the other one: "I will cut you! I will cut you and put you in my freezer!" Over and over. What the F is wrong with people? And why the F didn't we get out of line and go home to read a book? Ugh.
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Don't you love when you eat a bunch of grapes and every single one is firm, plump and ready to eat? No wrinkly, brown or mushy ones. Love that!
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What is Petrone? According to every rapper and hip hopper, we should all be drinking this. In a diamond crusted goblet. With hoes. Or is it hos?

Taxicab Tableau

In the cab on the way out, Paul, Ashley and I decided to pass the time by doing staged charades.

Pretend that we see Johnny Depp cross the street in front of us:

Pretend that we're about to get a free cab ride:

Pretend that we're about to get in a fiery car crash:

Ah, simple fun...

Cackle

I took this picture to show the weird post-clubbing hole in my tights. I didn't know it would also show that I am the Wicked Witch of the East who perished under Dorothy's house.

Optimizing my Happiness

About once every 18 months, the most magical, wonderful thing happens: I am able to redeem my Shoppers Optimum points. And if I'm really lucky, I can do so on a weekend of increased points.

So, today I got $200 worth of products for free! It's an amazing plan, this Optimum thing. Why people don't all use it is baffling to me. I also have it on my credit card so the points add up so fast.

There are very few things I like more than something that is free. I don't even really care what it is - if it's free, I become instantly a little happier. Fashion Week is great for freebies, but all that stuff, while great, are not things I chose. At Shoppers, it's literally like I've been given $200 in cash and am set to wander around the store and throw anything in the cart.

Check out what I got today:

Volunteary eyed

Fashion Week prep. Plethora of volunteers buzzing around looking for direction and their big break into the fashion industry. Luckily for them, I enjoy 'giving direction'.

And I consider it a duty to break some of these weak in - the fashion world is a tough place to be, this is for your own good.

Conversation with Volunteer 1:

Winnie Cooper - Well, I need you to know that there will be some manual labour involved, cleaning chandeliers, painting, cleaning carpets, stuff like that. Are you ok with that?

Timid - Um...yeah, I -

Winnie Cooper - Will you speak up please. I can't hear a word you're saying.

Timid - *marginally louder* Well, it's just that I...I don't know....it should be fine.

Winnie Cooper - Ok, listen. You will need to work hard and get your hands dirty. Are you up for this or not?!

Timid - Well, it's just that I have never done that before...

Winnie Cooper - What - you've never worked hard before?!

Timid - *muffled whimper*

Needless to say, she's on my shit list and her handshake was like a piece of uncooked bacon.
Next!

Randomness...with pictures

I am fully entrenched in the craziness that is LG Fashion Week. It seems like it was just yesterday that I was crying, subsisting on triple lattes, 3 hours of sleep per night and trying to "Keep Calm and Carry On" and yet, here I am again.

If my posting gets slack-y, that's why.

As for today, here is the beauty of my morning:

**pictured removed by Winnie Cooper - thanks to the Blog Safety Patrol of Ry & Julie**

Yep, that is 3 tickets for speeding! THREE!!!! I plan on having a bake sale to pay for them - double chocolate demerit brownies anyone?

How can this happen!?!? I am so furious, but I'm trying to remain positive. C'est la vie. I also brought home my new (old) couch today, so I look at it as no longer free, but costing me $350. Yeah.

Love love love couch in the space! Starting to feel like an actual living room now.

As an equally important side note:

What is going on with this guy's hair? Seriously! I know you love him, Aunt D, but it's ridiculous...he needs to do something about this right away. Otherwise I might have to relegate him from my "I don't notice you in any part of my life" category to the newly created "Keith who?" category. He can join Richards and Obermann there.

Oh also, these jeans that I wore while painting my place for three weeks - why do I get the distinct feeling that they would easily go for $165 at Abercrombie? The distressed style seems to be popular among douchebags and skanks - I think I could get a pretty penny if I hang out near American Apparel. Ooh, maybe I should make them cut-offs and pair with tights. Ugh.

One night in Bangkok

Friday night. Rainy, but we mustered up the enthusiasm on the white-knuckled drive to Toronto. Rush to get ready. Tried in vain to make my hair resemble something other than limp linguine. Meeting birthday party group at Embassy - my first time there. In line something seemed unusual...While I'm often the tallest person...well, anywhere, I wasn't used to being several feet taller than everyone in line. And our foursome were literally the only non-Asian partiers on the sidewalk. As we walked in and were frisked (?!) we quickly learned that Embassy on a Friday is either a known Asian Night or we stumbled down 6 stairs into Bangkok.

It was quite the strange feeling, being the obvious minority and everyone turned to stare at us. While I am often prone to exaggeration, I am being 100% serious when I say that there were fewer than 20 non-Asian people in the entire club.

At five minutes to midnight we learned that there were $2.50 drinks until midnight and we reacted as if we were never going to get another drink again. Double-fisted, we danced among the sea of shorter people and felt like kings.

Cheers?

Curing a hangover is like trying to settle a collicky baby.

You try anything to make it feel better and stop screaming out in pain.

Do you want water? Do you want food? Burger, milkshake and fries? Will you feel better if you throw up? What if you just sit on the bathroom floor? Sleep? Will sleep do it? Here, drink more water. How about we leave the house? You wanna go out, do ya? Hot water bottle?

What? What?? What DO YOU WANT? Just stop it! What?

This is what I've been dealing with all day.

The car ride home discussion included these tidbits:
- Why do we do this to ourselves?
- Seriously, we're like goldfish who forget this pain by the next weekend.
- We're not grown-ups. Nope, we are not grown-ups.
- We should know better. This isn't worth it.
- How OLD are we?

and the old faithful...

- I am NEVER drinking again.

Groan...

These are a few...

...of my favourite things.

I am loving this book so much. It's rare that I find a novel I love to this extreme. I've been delaying reading it so to extend the enjoyment. It's taken me a month to finish it.

I wasn't sure how to describe it, but then saw that the Chicago Tribune did it perfectly although a little verbose:

Melissa Bank has "successfully blended the compressed nature of short prose with the novel's greater panorama of character."

Yep. What they said.

This song is not new but it is my favourite re-discovery. I've heard it a million times, but finally pinned down the name and artist. It is a fail safe way to get me to smile and bop around. If this doesn't make you grin...well....

Oh, and papercuts!

Recent text exchange with my friend Sue:

Sue: How do you feel about cats?

Winnie Cooper: The same way I feel about the flu, bruised fruit and mosquitoes.

Sue: Well I need to find somewhere for 4 cats in the next three days!!

Winnie Cooper: Have you tried the street?

So, I told her I would put the word out - does anyone want a cat? Or 4? I'm sure they're very...cat-ish or something.